Who's in your head?
Aim,
Shoot--
Another man dead.
Or was it a mother,
A child,
Brother?
Sister.
Orders taken but
Who's in your head?
Is this what you signed up for--
Or do you suddenly doubt?
Images far from erasable,
Memories never left out.
Run as far as you can,
It will always catch back up.
Who's in your head--
When war is far from dead?
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i really like this poem very well executed. i have a few suggestions take them or leave them but just some things to make it flow better:
ReplyDeletei would switch brother and sister so it flows nicer like you did in the beginning, with mand dead in your head...
also the line 'it will always catch back up' its a little choppy and i only say this because the rest of the poem has a really nice rhyming scheme. maybe even eliminate "run as far as you can it will always catch back up" i dont know though.
well done
Awe thanks Deena haha I used both of the suggestions thank you!
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